Review: “No More Mrs. Nice Mom”

January 18th, 2011 | Posted by Dana in behavior | children | developmentally appropriate | No More Mrs. Nice Mom | parenting | parents - (0 Comments)

Please take a look at the article “No More Mrs. Nice Mom” in the NY Times.

I’ve read the article and watched the news report and I’ll respond to them the way I do to so many others…what happened to the middle ground?!

We have certainly had a trend in parenting where grown-ups want to be children’s friends.  Often, grown-ups use too many words to explain to young children why they are behaving the way they do. Many parents use lack of sleep or hunger or having been “thinking about using that toy all day,” as an excuse for their child’s poor behavior.  I’d also venture to say that the other end of the spectrum, where a child’s every moment is controlled by the parent, they are told that they are garbage and they have beloved stuffed animals burned, is not the best technique either.

Using simple, short sentences with young children to help them express their thoughts and feelings creates positive, lifelong abilities and good self-esteem.   Lack of discipline and lack of consistency is scary for young children.  They need external limits before they can internalize them.  They need bigger, stronger grown-ups with their best interest at heart, to help them feel safe.  Having expectations for your children while being aware of where they are developmentally, encourages a sense of competence and capability.  Authentic praise when a child has done something respectful, responsible, or friendly (or something that reflects another quality you value), reinforces positive behavior.  Gentle and consistent correction helps children to learn to make good choices.  Threats and punishment are not the way to produce achievement, but neither is having no expectations and no rules….don’t forget the middle ground!

Parenting is about learning who your child is, and teaching them to be the best little person they can be. That takes a careful mix of love, kindness, understanding, guidance, rules, expectations, and much, much more.  Most importantly, the mix and the technique have to reflect your individual child (and it may not work for multiple children in the same family) and your unique family.

This post could truly have gone on and on.  If you have questions, ask.  I’m here to help.

Dana’s Kids.  Empowered Parents, Happy Families.

, , , , , , , , , , ,

From the NY Times: An Article on the Importance of Play

January 8th, 2011 | Posted by Dana in Activities | children | developmentally appropriate | educators | parents | play - (0 Comments)

Take a look at this article about the importance of play and the movement to bring it back into the daily lives of children.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/06/garden/06play.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1&src=tptw

, , , , , , , , ,

My Favorite Things: Kissing Dots!

January 3rd, 2011 | Posted by Dana in children | parenting | tips | Uncategorized | young children - (0 Comments)

When a child says “help me please,” how can you resist? It feels so good to be able to give your child what he or she needs! But parents and caregivers should be aware that self-help skills are incredibly important for young children. Sometimes, adults don’t realize how capable children are. Toddlers can help put clean socks in a drawer. Two year olds can help clean up a spill and help put on and take off clothing. Three years olds can thrown away their garbage and put on their own shoes (once you’ve loosened them). Here’s a great trick I’ve been using for years to help children recognize which shoe goes on which foot. They’re called “kissing dots!”

To make kissing dots, simply take a permanent marker and draw small dots on the inside sole of each shoe. When the shoes are placed on the floor next to each other, the dots should appear to be “kissing!” (Wow, it’s much harder to describe this than I anticipated.). Explain this idea to your child. If he lays his shoes on the floor and the dots are not kissing, they will not be on the right feet. Once your child has the shoes on, ask him “Are the dots kissing?“ With time, your child will be able to “check” on his or her own.

Stay tuned for more tips! As always, if you have questions, please get in touch.

, , , , , ,

Happy New Year!

January 2nd, 2011 | Posted by Dana in children | parenting | parents | reflection - (0 Comments)

As we enter 2011, may we all feel more empowered and appreciated, a little bit more understanding and better understood, more patient and consistent, and most importantly, happy with ourselves and our families.  Parenting is a challenging and rewarding job.  You can do it!  I am here if you need me.

Be well,
Dana

Dana’s Kids.  Empowered Parents, Happy Families.

, , , , ,

Baby, Its Cold Outside! (Part 1)

December 11th, 2010 | Posted by Dana in Activities | children | educators | parenting | tips | young children - (0 Comments)

Let’s be honest. As it gets darker and colder, no one really wants to take young children to the park. It’s always been remarkable to me that children don’t seem to feel the frigid temperatures in the same way adults do. From an educators standpoint, gross motor work at a park or playground is important for all children and can be incredibly helpful for children with special needs. Having said that, anyone who spends time with young children knows that running around is essential!

I could go into a long explanation of the value of outdoor play, but instead I will share with you Educators Secret #147: Grabber Hand Warmers. (Ok, truth be told, I picked that number indiscriminately, but the item is still fantastic!) Cracking one of these little gems and keeping it in your pocket will keep you toasty while your children run like lunatics. I buy the packs of 10 pairs. If you want to make them really economical, use 1 instead of 2 and pass them from one pocket to the other. While the link brings you to Amazon.com, I recently purchased them at an even lower price at TJMaxx.

Yet another way to empower parents, caregivers and teachers.

Note: Stay tuned for Part 2: Gross motor activities to do indoors, when even hand warmers can’t help!

, , , , , ,

My Favorite Things: Sleep Enhancing Clock

December 5th, 2010 | Posted by Dana in Uncategorized - (0 Comments)

I hear it all the time:  “We just moved him/her to a bed, but he/she won’t stay in it!”  I have lots of techniques for this dilemma (keep an eye on the blog for others), but I was recently introduced to a product I think is wonderful.  It’s called the Sleep Enhancing Clock (made by It’s About Time).  I’m not sure that it will enhance your child’s sleep, but it will probably keep them in bed long enough to enhance yours! 

The left side of the clock has a bear or a car (it may come with other options, but I did not see them), and the right side has a traffic light and a digital clock.  Parents set the “alarm” to a designated time.  The clock gives visual (the light moves from red to green) and auditory (optional beeping sounds) signals when it’s time for a child to get up.  Parents can decide if that means out of their bed or out of their room.   I’ve heard some concern about the prospect of an emergency and how a child might react if a rule has been set that they do not leave their beds or rooms until the light is green.  I truly believe that if there was an emergency, a child would immediately look for their grown up or a grown up would come to get them, regardless of the color of the light on their clock.  Of course, I can make no guarantees, but I think this clock is brilliant! 

Amazon carries the item with a race car or “groovy car” attached.  One Step Ahead carries it with a blue or pink bear.  And I just found it on sale at Lillian Vernon.  This product is wonderful for all children, including those with special needs.  Let me know how it works for you!

Dana’s Kids.  Empowered Parents, Happy Families.

Today At The Library…

November 30th, 2010 | Posted by Dana in Uncategorized - (0 Comments)

Today I spent some time at the New York Public Library.  A couple of things immediately jumped out at me.  Of the 9 children sitting in the library when I first arrived, 7 were using computers, phones, or some other type of electronic device.  I felt an equal sense of excitement and distaste.  Electronics are helpful, support many types of learners, provide easy access to extensive information, and are the language of the future.  But few of the children were using books for reference or enjoyment.  Reading through the table of contents, index, and paragraphs of information, provides experiences and knowledge that may not be found in a Google search.  Getting lost in a story is wonderful.  As time went on, I also noticed quite a few children nuzzled into the crook of a caregivers’ arm and cuddled on chairs.  They were reading and being read to, asking questions, and experiencing the joy of a good book and interaction. 

There is immense value in both electronics and books.  I believe it is essential that they are not mutually exclusive and that neither one replaces the connection that takes place when children interact with each other and with adults.

Caught Being Good

November 23rd, 2010 | Posted by Dana in challenges | children | parenting anecdotes | tips - (0 Comments)

I was recently on line at the supermarket behind a woman and her daughter.  The child was probably about 6 years old and she and her mother were discussing what they were going to eat for dessert.  They suddenly realized they had forgotten the ice cream cones.  The mother calmly said to her daughter “You go get the cones.  I’ll wait here.”  The child looked at her mother somewhat cautiously and began to walk towards the cones (which could be seen from our line).  The woman told her daughter that she’d watch her, asked if she knew what they looked like and knew where to find the box. 

I told the woman she could come back to her spot in the line if she wanted to go and help her daughter.  The mother thanked me and explained that for a long time her daughter wouldn’t walk 5 feet from her and that they had been working on this for some time.  The child came back with the box, her face beaming with pride.  Her mother gave her a hug and thanked her for her help.

I couldn’t stop myself from telling the mother how impressed I was.  She was giving her daughter the incredible gift of self-confidence.  Great job Mom!  You were caught being a great parent!

, , , , ,

Weeding Through Well-Meaning Advice

November 14th, 2010 | Posted by Dana in children | parenting | parents | reflection - (0 Comments)

I recently wrote a guest blog post for a wonderful website: www.motherhoodlater.com. 

“Motherhood Later… Than Sooner, founded by Robin Gorman Newman, is an international organization devoted to those parenting later in life. If you became a mom for the first time, or again, at age 35+, we welcome your participation. Our mission is to inform, empower and connect “later” mothers through our site, blog, newsletter, learning opportunities, online communities and in-person events worldwide for moms and families.”

While the post is available for viewing on the Motherhood Later…Than Sooner website, it is applicable to every parent!  Who hasn’t been bombarded with advice and wondered, “should I be doing that?”  The blog post offers some food for thought about what to listen to, and what to let go.

Take a look:

http://blog.motherhoodlaterthansooner.com/2010/11/guest-blog-post-weeding-through-well.html

, , , , ,

My Favorite Things: Infant Toys (0-6 Months)

November 6th, 2010 | Posted by Dana in Activities | developmentally appropriate | infants and toddlers - (1 Comments)

It’s apropos, in light of the fact that my nephew was born last Wednesday morning, that I offer a list of my favorite infant toys and some ways to use them!

1.Light Rattles and Small Rain sticks- These items encourage tracking (following objects with their eyes) and are very attractive to infants.  They make different noises and are a first introduction to “cause and effect.”  Light rattles can be easily gripped in one hand, small rainsticks (the one pictured in the link above is the full sized version) in two.  These are also great for entertaining your child during tummy time.

2. Baby Buzz’r- This terrific toy vibrates gently, plays soft music, and has blinking eyes.  These modes can be used individually or together depending on what soothes your child.  The wings of the bee can also be used for teething!  A great item.

3. Boppy Pillow- This “c” shaped pillow can be used in a multitude of ways.  A parent can put the Boppy around their body for bottle or breast feeding.  The child can recline in a Boppy for bonding and play and be placed on it for feeding.  For children who may be uncomfortable being flat for tummy time, placing them tummy down with arms over the Boppy can be a more comfortable introduction (you can also roll up a towel and place it underneath your child chest, under the armpits).  As your infant gets older, the Boppy can be used to support a child in the seated position.

4. Massage Lotion or Oil- While this isn’t exactly a “toy,” it is a wonderful item and activity to use with your child.  Your child’s skin will help determine which lotions you choose, but I love Mustela Baby Massage Oil and Johnson’s Bedtime Lavender Lotion.  Even if you haven’t taken an infant massage class, gentle, rhythmic motions on your childs’ body can be very soothing for both of you.  It’s also a terrific bonding experience!

5. Oball- This is a great first ball for any child.  The finger holes make it easy to grip for an infant (and easy to catch and throw as a child gets older).  Because it is somewhat flexible, it is safe for an infant to throw and, though I have no personal experience with this, it’s delicious to suck on!

6. Taggies Blanket or other Lovies- While no items should be placed in a crib or bassinet with a newborn, as your child gets a little older, blankets and lovies can be soothing and comforting.  They can be kept close in a stroller or bouncy seat and are great for feeling different textures and, of course, for putting in little mouths!

This list could go on and on!  While I love these items for infants 0-6 months, they will surely be favorites as your baby gets older as well.  Be sure to follow all safety instructions listed on packages and recommended by pediatricians for your child.  Remember that no matter what materials you choose for your child, enjoying them together will enhance the experience for both of you.  Enjoy!

, , , , , ,