Immediate, Natural Consequences

April 24th, 2011 | Posted by Dana in behavior | children | developmentally appropriate | discipline | limit setting | parenting | positive discipline | teachable moments | tips - (3 Comments)

Whenever I speak to parents about discipline, amongst other things, we discuss developmentally appropriate expectations, consistency, positive alternatives, and immediate, natural consequences.  Immediate, natural consequences are particularly important to explain because often, they don’t come immediately or naturally, to a grown up. 

First things first: what is an immediate, natural consequence?  Using positive discipline begins by teaching babies to be cooperative and as children grow in to toddlers, setting limits for them.  When children are learning the things that they can and cannot do, what is safe and not safe, parents can give positive alternatives (keep an eye out for an upcoming post on this topic) or a consequence for their behavior.  Choosing a consequence that occurs right away and fits the “crime,” adds meaning and increases the likelihood that it will have an impact on your child. 

Now some examples for clarity: If your dear daughter knocks her brother down while they are playing in the morning, taking away a bedtime television show would be inappropriate.  Not only is that too many hours away for a young child to remember and connect to, it is also disconnected from what she has done.  Instead, have her check on her brother to be sure he is okay.  Perhaps she’ll need to play with whatever game he has chosen, rather than choosing her own.  Maybe she’ll need to take a break to calm her body until she can play safely with her brother.  On another occasion your loving son may run down the street on the way to school, scaring the bejeezus out of you and clearly defying your rule that he hold on to his stroller while he walks.  Telling him he can’t have ice cream when you go to the park in the evening is neither an immediate, nor natural, consequence.  Rather, explain to him that when he runs down the street, he is telling you he can’t walk safely.  You might choose to give him a second chance or you might say that when he runs down the street he isn’t being safe, and that means he needs to be in his stroller.  In a few minutes, he can try again to walk safely. 

You’ll need to consider your child, the behavior, your family rules, and the type of discipline you have used in the past, when creating your own immediate, natural consequences that will be effective.  Using positive discipline is what I consider “best practice.”  It’s the response grown-ups hope they will have in reaction to their children’s behavior.  Unfortunately, it doesn’t always happen that way.  Grown ups are human and sometimes we yell or react in another way wish we hadn’t.  By thinking ahead of time about some of the situations that come up for our children, and getting in to the habit of using immediate, natural consequences, we can handle these situations better and more easily.   Even if you haven’t used positive discipline with your child in the past, if you commit to the technique and are consistent, positive alternatives, limit setting and immediate, natural consequences can be effective.  Positive discipline helps your child internalize the rules.  Have questions about immediate, natural consequences for a specific situation?  Post them here or send me an email.  I’m here to help!

, , , , , , ,

Plan to Play: Feed The Baby

April 19th, 2011 | Posted by Dana in Activities | children | connections | cpse services | developmentally appropriate | early intervention | parenting | parents | Plan to Play | quality time | tips | young children - (0 Comments)

 

As far as I am concerned, all young children (yes, even boys) should have a baby doll.  Feeding a baby doll is a great way to introduce young children to pretend play.

What You’ll Need:

-Baby Doll

-Real or pretend spoon, bowl, saucepan, bottle, napkin, and any other items you might use to prepare a meal

-Pretend food or real, empty containers (baby food, cereal box, etc)

The Plan:

While sitting on the floor with your child, you might pretend to make the baby cry.  You can say, “Wahh, wahh.  The baby is crying.  I think she is hungry.”  For a two or three year old you might ask “What can we do?”  For a younger child, model what to do.  “Let’s make the baby some breakfast.”  Ask your child to pour or place something in the bowl or saucepan and “stir it up!”  If you have a pretend stove, you can encourage your child to heat up the food on the stove.  Add other ingredients and stir it up again.  You can ask “what are you making?”  Encourage your child to give it a taste.  Is it hot?  She can blow on it!  Is it ready?  Pour some in to the bowl for the baby.  Ask your child, “Can the baby feed herself or does she need your help?”  Encourage your child to feed the baby doll with the spoon.   Ask, “Does the baby like the food you made for her?”  Uh oh, the baby is getting dirty, maybe your child needs to wipe her face with the napkin.  Is she thirsty?  Perhaps she wants a drink from her bottle.  What’s in the bottle?  Juice?  Milk?  You can ask older children what you should do.

For younger children, when you first start this “plan to play,” you might need to model how to feed the baby.  But be sure you also give your child room to lead the play.  Even children as young as 18 months (some even younger) can have their own plan for feeding or caring for the baby doll.  You can prompt children to take the lead by saying “now what?”  Have fun with it!  The more you “pretend,” the more your child will.  Watch and listen to your child.  Notice which parts of the play seem to get them excited and talking.  Use those parts to expand the play.  Remember that some young children, and those who have not engaged in this type of play before, will start slowly.  Playing for just a few minutes is a great start.  Over time the play will expand and you’ll have engaged in a quality experience that is both fun and supports your child’s development.

Dana’s Kids

empowered parents, happy families.

, , , , , , ,

A Plan To Play

April 15th, 2011 | Posted by Dana in Activities | children | cpse services | developmentally appropriate | early intervention | parents | Plan to Play | play | quality time | special needs | teachable moments | tips | young children - (0 Comments)

After sitting down with another parent who felt self-conscious and unsure of how to play with her child, I had a thought:  Playing doesn’t come naturally to every grown up and that’s okay.  Why not use the Dana’s Kids blog to give parents a “Plan to Play?”  I want to be clear that feeling “unable” to play is a concern I hear from both parents with typically-developing children and parents of children with special needs.  Everyone can benefit from a “plan to play!”

The “Plan to Play” series of posts will give you play scenarios, storylines, and ideas, to use with your child.  You’ll read about materials and modifications for different age groups, and ways to help your child take his or her play to the next level.  These ideas can be shared with family members and caregivers, as well.  Imaginative play supports all areas of a child’s development.  Dramatic play will enhance your child’s vocabulary and language skills, enrich gross and fine motor development, expand their understanding of cognitive, math, and science concepts,  and improve their social skills and emotional awareness.  I hope you’ll find the information in these posts empowering and that you’ll “plan to play” with your child!

Dana’s Kids

empowered parents, happy families.

, , , , , , , ,

My Favorite Things: Using Photographs with Children

April 13th, 2011 | Posted by Dana in children | connections | developmentally appropriate | language development | parenting | parents | teachable moments | tips | Uncategorized - (2 Comments)

All children love seeing themselves and the important people in their lives in photographs.  For babies, photo albums can be used to support language development, recognition of their loved ones and caregivers, and are a great transition object for day care.  Toddlers enjoy labeling all of the people and things they know.  For twos and threes, photographs help with separation at school and camp, they can be used for setting up schedules (children at this age thrive on routine), and can teach children about flexibility.  Threes and older love recalling events like trips to the farm, Halloween, and visiting family and friends that live far away.  A series of photographs can be used for sequencing activities and promote telling stories with a beginning, middle, and end.  Photo albums are a terrific tool for helping children through moves from one house to another, can ease the anxiety and unpredictability that may arise during divorce or separation, and are great for children with special needs.  Give it a try!  Thinking about using photos or a photo album with your child and not sure how to proceed? Get in touch: Dana@DanasKids.com

, , , , , ,

5 Ways to Enrich Your Young Child’s Fine Motor Development (3-5 years old)

April 4th, 2011 | Posted by Dana in Activities | children | developmentally appropriate | educators | fine motor skills | parenting | parents | play | products | special needs | teachable moments | tips - (0 Comments)

I thought about naming this post “big work for little hands” but decided to go with the title you see above.  That being said, my discarded title brings up an important point.  I believe strongly that typically developing children accomplish tasks when they are ready.  Developmentally, not all little hands are ready for big work.  The activities and materials below will help prepare your child’s hands and fingers for writing and other fine motor skills by strengthening muscles, developing dexterity, and exposing children to fine motor experiences.

1. Play dough and Theraputty- Whether you buy play dough or make your own, squeezing, rolling, pinching and cutting are great activities for hand strength.  To add another challenge, Theraputty is like play dough with extra resistance.  The product comes in multiple colors where each color is a different level of resistance.  For children with special needs, Theraputty’s texture is more like silly putty than play dough which can be helpful, in addition to the numerous hand strengthening activities to which it lends itself.  Let your child pull, squeeze, and roll to their hearts desire.  Hiding small items in both play dough and Theraputty is fun and another fine motor skill builder. 

2. Broken, Triangle, or Finger crayons- Broken crayons naturally put children’s hands into the tripod grip they will eventually use for writing and more advanced drawing.  (Note: Some children will use modified grips, which are appropriate as well.)  Triangle crayons also lend themselves to proper finger placement, while finger crayons strengthen the whole hand when place in the palm.  Repeated use of crayons will help children feel more proficient in creating marks, letters, etc. and will naturally strengthen fine motor muscles.

3. Hole and Paper Punches-Both products are great for working on hand and finger strength, dexterity and using a helper hand to manipulate paper while the other hand presses the punch.   I find it helpful to cut a regular 8 1/2 x 11 inch paper into four pieces.  You can give children glue and extra paper and have them make collages.  For younger children, tape contact paper sticky side up to a table and let them place the pieces on top.  Plus, children love having these items for craft and other projects.

4. Zoo Sticks and Chopsticks-You can buy official Zoo Sticks or go to your closest Asian restaurant and ask them to set up chopsticks for a child (they’ll do this with the paper wrapper and a rubber band).  Chopsticks can be used for eating, sorting materials (cotton balls, small animal figures, beans, etc), searching for hidden items in sand and much more.  Both Zoo Sticks and chopsticks can improve hand and finger strength, hand-eye coordination, and add intrigue to a meal for even the pickiest eater.

5. Windup toys and Mini Squeeze Rocket- Two great games for working on finger and hand strength.  Wind-up toys are a delight to young children.  They take some getting used to and children may ask for help initially, but with some practice they’ll be able to get them going and will really “fine-tune” their fingers.  The Mini Squeeze Rocket is another game that will have children squealing with delight.  What they may not realize is that the squeeze motion is strengthening their arms and hands while they play.

The challenge of this list was that it could go on and on!  There are so many ways to support your young child’s fine motor development.  Stay tuned for 5 more!

, , , , , , , ,

Special Needs Products for Everyone: Stomp Rocket Junior and Stomp Rocket Ultra

April 1st, 2011 | Posted by Dana in Activities | children | developmentally appropriate | educators | parenting | play | special needs | tips | young children - (1 Comments)

 

The Stomp Rocket Ultra and Stomp Rocket Junior are some of my favorite activities to use with children.  While they recommend you use these toys outside, with a few precautions (moving breakable items), I think the Stomp Rocket Junior can be a perfect activity for working on gross motor development while inside.  It’s a great way for ALL children to use those “big” muscles while inside on a rainy or snowy day. 

Children with low muscle tone are easily enticed by this toy and can work on jumping with two feet, landing on a target, as well as other developmental goals.  Children with special needs can also use the Stomp Rocket Junior to enhance their visual-tracking skills.  Both Stomp Rockets attract all children which can be a helpful aid for children working on social skills.  Every child using the Stomp Rocket will improve their understanding of cause and effect and most importantly, it’s fun!

, , , , , , , ,

A Follow Up To “Restaurant Sanity Savers”

March 11th, 2011 | Posted by Dana in developmentally appropriate | parenting | parents | siblings | special needs | tips | young children - (0 Comments)

A parent recently had a great response after reading “Restaurant Sanity Savers.”  This mother of three, whose eldest has special needs, created similar “kits” for her middle child when he accompanied his older brother to activities and therapy sessions.  The eldest had a kit for when the middle child needed to be fed as an infant. 

Stay tuned for more ideas for supporting  the siblings of  children with special needs.

, , , , ,

Restaurant Sanity Savers

March 6th, 2011 | Posted by Dana in Activities | behavior | developmentally appropriate | eating out | parenting | parents | quality time | teachable moments | tips - (0 Comments)

Having a child shouldn’t mean you can’t go out for dinner without hiring a babysitter.  Taking your young child to a restaurant holds the possibility of a wonderful experience in a new place with new foods, as well as an enjoyable time for you and your partner.  It can also be a total nightmare.   Here are some tips that will help you achieve the former, and cope with the latter.

  1. First and foremost, try to choose a restaurant that is relatively child-friendly.  Trying to make a go of it in a strictly adult-only environment sets you and your child up for failure and isn’t fair to other diners.
  2. Birth to 4 months may be the easiest time to take a child to a restaurant.  As long as there is room for your stroller or car seat, the low rumble of conversation tends to lull babies to sleep through the entire meal!  Parents should consult their pediatrician and consider what best suits their child and family, when deciding at what age to bring their infant into a restaurant.
  3. Bringing babies 5months – 1 year old to a restaurant can be slightly more challenging, but they are fascinated by all of the new things around them.  Use this to your benefit.  To start, keep them in the stroller or car seat.  Let them spend some time looking around, holding your napkin, listening to the different voices.  Once you take them out they’ll enjoy gently banging on the table and exploring the booth.  Remember, they’ll be quick to pull a table cloth or grab and knock over a glass so be sure to keep these things out of reach if you have your child on your lap.  Have finger foods and small toys available.  Give these things to your child slowly.  They’ll still be interested in looking around as they eat and play.
  4. Toddlers who are 1-2 years old take a bit more planning before accompanying you to a restaurant.  First of all, be sure the restaurant has a high chair or booster seat.  Otherwise, bring your own.  Once you sit down, clear a spot on the table for your child.  Be sure that you are going to the restaurant at a time when your child is hungry.  If you miss that window, it will be hard to contain your child and most likely that will ruin your meal.  Acknowledge that developmentally, a 1-2 year old can not sit for a 3 hour meal.  This may mean shortening your meal a bit, or feeling comfortable enough at a restaurant to follow closely while your child toddles around.  Children at this age love to practice new walking and running skills.  As with babies, bringing small finger foods and snacks is important.  It’s best to be prepared for the possibility of a slow kitchen.  Bringing toys and presenting them one at a time is helpful at this age as well.  You might first offer a board book, then a crayon and paper, and finally a small peg board or puzzle.
  5. For children 2-3 years of age, putting together a restaurant bag is helpful.  Children at this age can sit longer, but still need activities to keep them engaged.  Some of my favorite “restaurant kit” items are stickers, paper and crayons, contact paper and collage materials, travel size Magnadoodle, books, and small cars and animals. If you are going to a nice restaurant, bring a disposable placemat or extra paper for your child to work on.  Remember, pace your child by giving them one item at a time.  Talk to your child about his or her day and yours, as well as the food that is coming.  Think about what you might do tomorrow and what the plan is for when you get home.   Choosing appropriate meal times and having snacks on hand goes a long way with age group as well.
  6. As children get older, they can help pack their restaurant bag or do it entirely themselves.  They can order their food and say thank you when it arrives.  Restaurant etiquette is a lifelong skill.  You might play eye-spy in the restaurant or pick out letters and their sounds on the menu.  Because you started bringing your child to restaurants at a young age, they will have a clear understanding of the expectations when they are older.

 

Some parents find having a portable dvd player works for them in restaurant settings.  Watching a video will certainly keep your child busy during a meal but can be a slippery slope.  Sometimes batteries die.  You’ll need to keep the volume low enough so as not to disturb other diners or your child has to be willing to wear headphones.  Using a dvd player may shorten your child’s attention span for the other items you bring to occupy them, because they are anticipating using the dvd player.  Plus, your child might miss out on what can be a terrific teachable moment.  This is not to say you shouldn’t have the player available.  Just choose the times at which you use it, wisely.

Once children are eating solid food, give them the opportunity to try some of what you are eating.  When they can speak, encourage them to say please and thank you to the waiters and waitresses.  I suggest playing quiet and loud games before you go to a restaurant so that your child is clear about the difference between inside voices and outside voices.  Include your child in table conversation whenever possible.  To be sure, there will be days when you’ll have to take that meal to-go.  With practice and repetition your child will better understand appropriate restaurant behavior, and dining out will become a fantastic family activity!

, , , , , , , , ,

“Special Needs” Products for Everyone: Bubble Bear

March 4th, 2011 | Posted by Dana in Activities | children | developmentally appropriate | educators | products | special needs | tips - (0 Comments)

Have a bubble lover in the house?  Pustefix Bubble Bear is a great product for children of all ages and abilities.   For babies, blow the bubbles so that they can track  with their eyes and reach out with their hands.  Toddlers love running to catch bubbles with different parts of their body.  As toddlers become 2s and 3s, most have mouth and lip muscles that are strong enough to blow bubbles on their own.  The Bubble Bear is wonderful because as your child gently squeezes its belly, the wand slides up for bubble blowing.  The extra bubble juice goes back in!   Full disclosure, this is not a no-spill bubble solution.  If your child tips the bear or squeezes too hard the bubbles will spill over the top.  Bubble Bear encourages the understanding of cause and effect, hand/finger strength, and oral-motor skills.  Have fun!

, , , , , , , , , , , ,

A Special Educators’ Bag of Tricks

March 1st, 2011 | Posted by Dana in cpse services | developmentally appropriate | early intervention | special needs | tips | young children - (0 Comments)

One of the first things any child receiving special services will learn to say, whether by signing or speaking, is “open bag.”  Special service providers (occupational, speech, feeding, and physical therapists, as well as special educators), come to work in homes and schools with a literal bag of tricks.  We bring novel materials to excite children and well-loved materials to encourage mastery and build self-esteem.  Whether old or new, the items must help us encourage a child to work on developmental tasks that are challenging for them.  As a teacher working with both typically developing children and those with special needs, as well as with parents, I find my materials cross all lines.  With that in mind, I thought I’d start posting some of my favorite materials that support ALL children’s development.  You’ll find it under the blog heading, “Special Needs” Products for Everyone.  Keep an eye out!

, , , , , , , , , , ,