So excited to be featured on Mommybites blog “Meet the Experts.” 

http://mommybites.com/newyork/05/02/meet-the-experts-dana-rosenbloom/

Today I walked down a New York City street and noticed three young children on leashes.  Sure, two were dressed up as cute little monkey backpacks with tails for the parents to hold on to, but still….they’re leashes.  After years working with toddlers, 2s and 3s, I get it.  They can have selective listening, can be impulsive, they want to do everything by themselves.  For some children, leashes (or backpacks with tails, if you prefer) may seem unavoidable, but before you buy one, here’s something to try:

When children are young, play the “Stop and Go Game.”  Stay in a safe area like the park, a quiet sidewalk, or even your hallway.  Hold your child’s hand and shout “Go!”  Run a few feet, throw your arms out to the sides and shout “Stop” or “Freeze!”  Now do it again!  Make it fun!  The children will think they’re playing but they’ll really be learning to be safe and to listen closely to your words.  Next time you are walking down the block and they are going farther than feels comfortable for you, play the game.   Depending upon what you feel is safe, you can change it up by using the words “walk,” “jump,” or “run.”  Remind them that on the street, the rule is to “stop” or “freeze” when their grownup calls out the word.

It takes some practice, but it sure beats the alternative!

If you have other questions about keeping your child safe on the street, email me at Dana@DanasKids.com.

Check out my article for Mommybites on “Having Your Young Child Evaluated Through Early Intervention.”

When a child has special needs, parents and family members should be involved from the start of intervention. This begins with the evaluation process. I encourage families to consider the initial evaluation as an opportunity to learn more about their child’s special needs.

http://mommybites.com/col1/preschool/having-your-young-child-evaluated-through-early-intervention/

When I first started Niche Placement, I would get calls from very flustered clients said things like, “Megan did not pack Ella her gym clothes for Friday and she had to miss gym!” or “ I was looking at my Nanny’s Facebook page and her status said ‘I had a looooooong day at work!” Calls like that were difficult to deal with, and I did not understand why they happened so often. Then I realized, nobody has an HR department in their living room.  Having someone work in your home and care for your kids is an intimate relationship; so maintaining professional boundaries and communicating  clearly is no easy task.  Not easy but not impossible. I recommend following the same advice I give the families and nannies I work with.

If you are a working mom, or are out of the house often, figure out what level of communication you want with your nanny throughout the day.  Do you want a few texts or emails to let you know how the kids are doing? Would you like a text when your nanny picks your kids up from school to know how their day went?   Whatever communication you would like on a daily basis, make that clear to your nanny from the beginning.  To discuss larger issues or long -term goals, I recommend having a ‘check in’ every few months with your nanny.   Have this ‘check in’ in a neutral place like a coffee shop.

When you have the ‘check in’ it is important to use open, non-accusatory language. Tell your nanny what things they are doing well and what you appreciate about them before you tell them what you would like them to change. For example, saying something like  “Riley’s reading has gotten so much better, thank you for doing reading hour with her.  It would  be great if we could also work on her organizational skills.” This language will be heard and put into action much more than something like, “ I have asked you many times to make sure Riley cleans her room and puts her books away. Why haven’t you done this?!”

Giving your nanny an opportunity to discuss her thoughts is essential.  You may find out that your date -night Thursday gets your nanny home at a time where she feels unsafe to take public transportation and she needs to take a cab. Your nanny also has an inside look behind the playroom door and  she will be able to tell you which play dates are not ideal for your kids.

If you are a stay at home mom and will be hiring a nanny, keep this in mind: you will be spending most of your days with the nanny. Sharing that kind of physical and emotional space can strain any relationship; so  take the time to think about what you want that relationship to be like. Do you want the nanny’s presence to be big or small when you are around? When do you want her to step in or step out?

The most useful skill for a stay at home mom who is hiring a nanny is to be self-aware.  Knowing yourself well enough to say something like ‘Working for me might be tough because I can micro manage when it comes to the baby’s sleeping and feeding schedule,” is a great asset to building communication with your nanny.   If you are not sure what would make you a difficult employer at times, ask your best friend to tell you.

Now that I have discussed how to communicate with your nanny, let’s go over the things you should NOT be talking about with your nanny. Even though most parents grow to love their nannies and treat them like part of the family, you must have professional boundaries.  You can care about your nanny’s well being without prying into their personal life, romantic relationships or how they spend their free time.   Don’t ‘friend’ your nanny on social networking sites, because after all, you are not their friend.  With that in mind, do not discuss your own personal, marital or romantic life with your nanny.  If you are not sure where the line is, ask yourself “Would I want to hear about this from my boss?”

Best of luck communicating with your nanny! In part three I will discuss how to create an easy, straightforward contract with your nanny.

To find out more about Niche Placement:

www.nicheplacement.com

202.642.4392

Niche Placement is a New York based childcare placement agency that focuses on families with children with special needs. We believe that unique family situations require uniquely qualified nannies. Samantha Fillian Younes worked as a nanny in New York City for over eight years, spending the majority of those years caring for a child with profound hearing loss. Through her experience, she saw the need for a highest quality, personalized agency that finds exceptional nannies for exceptional families. 

Samantha has spent over 15 years working as a children’s caregiver and educator. Upon receiving her B.A. and M.F.A., she worked as a Montessori School Teacher, then transitioned into a professional nannying career.  Her years of experience and knowledge in nannying, guide her in choosing and supporting the highly qualified nannies she places. Samantha is especially passionate about the education and therapy of children with special needs, and advocates for low-income families with children who need extra care and support. She lives in Brooklyn with her husband and enjoys practicing yoga and traveling in her free time.

Take a look at my article on Big City Moms, “Setting the Stage for Potty Training Success.”  As you begin to see the signs that your child is ready for potty training, start with the three steps in this article.

http://www.bigcitymoms.com/PottyTraining.php

Raising children brings with it joy and hope, concern and trepidation.  As they say, there is no handbook for being a parent.  Raising a child with special needs can compound the worries and leave a parent feeling unsure of their footing.  And while I believe strongly that every family benefits from education, I know how essential it can be to parents who have children with special needs.    Parent education, particularly when a therapist works with an individual or couple, provides incredible support and truly strengthens a family.  Parent education has a positive impact on a child’s developmental outcome and improves a parent’s sense of well-being.  When a parent feels taken care of, they can better take care of their children.

Here are some of the many benefits of parent education for families of children with special needs.

1. Better understand your child’s current level of development.  A parent educator can go over current reports, as well as any concerns a parent may have about techniques, relationships, goals, etc.
2. Related Services-Updates from related services can be coordinated by a parent educator, allowing a parent to have better communication with their child’s therapists
3. Examine your own feelings about your child’s special needs.  Think about what fears hold you back from supporting your child’s growth.  How are your connections to others?  Are you maintaining supportive relationships outside your home?  What strengths allow you to be proactive and advocate for your child?
4. Acknowledge and celebrate your child’s strength.  Learn how to use these skills and your child’s interests to motivate them in other areas of their lives.
5. Learn new techniques for managing your child’s behavior and supporting your child through his or her challenges
6. Parent educators can help to create and facilitate a support group with other parents who have children with special needs.  The parent educator will help each member get the most of out of meetings.  These groups encourage parents to support each other, discuss challenges, and celebrate their children’s successes.
7. Consider your own needs.  Create a schedule and use time management techniques to allow for meeting those needs.
8. Parent educators support the home-school relationship.  They can help both parties insure consistency between the two environments.
9. Understand and support the relationship between typically developing siblings and those with special needs.
10. Discuss and create a plan that has you and your spouse parenting on the same page.  Consistency is key for all children.

This list could easily go on and many of the benefits are also true for parents whose children are typically developing.  From time to time, all parents need tips, education and a hug for reassurance.  When choosing a parent educator, think about your goals and look in to their specific areas of expertise, as these can vary widely.   Areas of focus can include marriage relationships, sibling relationships, behavior work, daily living skills, support for parents whose children have been recently diagnosed, or groups.  Not every relationship with a parent educator will be a match.  If the first one you meet doesn’t feel comfortable for you, try someone else.  The ability to be candid and intimate with a parent educator will greatly impact what you take out of your sessions.  We’re here to help.

Dana’s Kids

empowered parents, happy families.

I love watching Downton Abbey. As the founder of a nanny agency, and former professional nanny, I am fascinated by the relationship between the family and their household staff. Downton is a culture in which people are born knowing how to hire, treat, and keep staff.  Although present day New York City is home to thousands of nannies we are very far from Downton.

Whether you are a first time mom of a newborn, or if you are have school- aged children and are going back to work; hiring your first nanny can seem like an overwhelming, confusing and stressful exp­­­erience.  Having someone work in your home and care for your children is an emotional experience that can blur boundaries and make communicating expectations difficult.

My advice to anyone who is hiring a nanny for the first time through an agency or independently, is to approach it with a clear and professional manner. Discuss with your partner what qualities you are looking for in a nanny. Make three different columns of qualities   1. “Necessary” 2. “Plus” 3.  “Ideal”.  While every parent would love to have a nanny who has a degree in education, is an organic chef and speaks French as a second language- it is important to have realistic expectations for the person you are hiring within the salary range you are offering.  Be honest with yourself about what you want your nanny to do. Are you looking for someone to do to only do childcare or are you looking for someone who is going to do equal parts housekeeping and childcare.

If you are working with an agency, they should be able to help you form a clear and concise job description to present to potential candidates.  My agency, Niche Placement is driven by the job description and the families’ needs. We do not keep a ‘stock’ of nannies on file; we do a candidate search based on exactly what the family is looking for.  If I am working with a client who needs the nanny to travel with the family several weeks a year or spend the summer in the Hamptons- I discuss this with the candidates at great length. What I don’t want is a candidate that has a ‘yes’ or ‘no problem’ knee-jerk response to aspects of a position without really thinking about it.

Many clients express the desire for a nanny who is flexible to do “light housekeeping”, since the definition of “light” will vary from household to household,  be very specific about what household duties you would like the nanny to do and make sure they are ok with it. If you do not address this issue upfront, you will ultimately come home to a house that is not as clean as you would like it to be or to a nanny that is overwhelmed with too many tasks.

In part two of ‘Hiring Your First Nanny’, I will discuss the relationship between the stay at home mother and nanny as well as tips on how to effectively communicate with your nanny.

To find out more about Niche Placement:

www.nicheplacement.com

202.642.4392

Niche Placement is a New York based childcare placement agency that focuses on families with children with special needs. We believe that unique family situations require uniquely qualified nannies. Samantha Fillian Younes worked as a nanny in New York City for over eight years, spending the majority of those years caring for a child with profound hearing loss. Through her experience, she saw the need for a highest quality, personalized agency that finds exceptional nannies for exceptional families. 

Samantha has spent over 15 years working as a children’s caregiver and educator. Upon receiving her B.A. and M.F.A., she worked as a Montessori School Teacher, then transitioned into a professional nannying career.  Her years of experience and knowledge in nannying, guide her in choosing and supporting the highly qualified nannies she places. Samantha is especially passionate about the education and therapy of children with special needs, and advocates for low-income families with children who need extra care and support. She lives in Brooklyn with her husband and enjoys practicing yoga and traveling in her free time.

Check out my article on Mommybites about “Delays In Your Young Child’s Development.”  If you have concerns, reach out for help and support.  Early identification and intervention are critical and can have a considerable effect on your child’s development.

http://mommybites.com/col2/nanny/help-your-young-childs-development/