Dana’s Kids Blog

Many parents go through a period where they struggle to understand what their children are telling them.   In more challenging situations, parents can have a hard time connecting with their babies.  I often suggest they try considering these times in a new framework.  Consider parenting to be a dance.

Starting from the first moment you hold your infant in your arms, you have to learn about your partner.  Parents must consider the way their children move, the way they speak, sound, and smell.  What type of rhythm do they like?  And just to make it slightly more complicated, each partner or child is different, and as children grow and develop, the dance changes a bit.  Then slowly but surely, you learn how to move fluidly together.

Little by little, you begin to understand who your babies and children are, what works for them, and how to enhance their development and interactions.   You learn the signals that the music is about to change, when to take a step closer and when to take a step back.  Over the years you begin to easily recognize when you partner needs to perform solo, and when only a parent partner will make the dance seamless.  Parenting is a living entity.  Allow for the time to reflect on your partner and the dance.  You’ll be “dancing with the stars” before you know it.  You can do this.

Here’s a wonderful tidbit from a recent parent workshop I conducted.  I was talking with a group of working parents about the guilt they were feeling.  The conversation progressed to purchasing items for children and whether or not that assuages some of the guilt.  The truth of the matter is that whether they are working or not, most parents feel guilt from time to time.  Whether connected to the guilt or not, many are inclined to give their children the things they didn’t have when they were children themselves.  One of the mothers in the group chimed in with an important message.  “Of course my child is spoiled,” she explained, “but she’s not rotten.”  This is a powerful distinction.  We often hear about teaching children an “attitude of gratitude.”   I encourage all parents to help their children learn to be appreciative and evaluate the difference between what they need and what they want (even if they receive their “wants” from time to time).  Because in the end, it’s not so bad to have a child who is spoiled, but rotten is a whole other story!

Welcome parents and educators to the launch of what I hope will be a useful resource and an inspiration!

Over the last 10 years, I have worked with hundreds of children and families. While many of the same issues consistently present themselves, it is my belief that the people involved make the challenges unique. As this blog develops, I will present some of these struggles, ways to think about families and children, and ideas for using that information to successfully handle difficult times.

I look forward to hearing your questions and responses. I encourage you to actively use this site to empower yourselves and your families.