Dana’s Kids Blog

Today on Thanksgiving, but really every day, it is important to think about raising children who are thankful and appreciative.  How can a parent or teacher instill these traits in children?

When children are about 18 months old, they can repeat the phrase “thank you.”  While they will not truly understand what it means until they are about 3, and will probably need prompting to use the phrase for quite some time after that, it is essential to make the words and the sentiment part of their environment from infancy.  Do you say thank you to the mailman?  The doorman?  The bank teller?  Involve your children when you help others.  Thank them when they have been cooperative.  Ask your young child to help draw pictures for a thank you card and write down the words they would like to say.

Many families have a tradition of asking each member what they are thankful for.  Young children sometimes have difficulty answering the question.  Try reframing it as “Who do you say thank you to?” or “What do you say thank you for?”

Be sure to model gratitude and empathy.

When children live it, they learn it!

Young children begin taking formal “lessons” in activities for a number of reasons:  Mom or Dad thinks it’s a great idea, the child has expressed interest, friends are participating, they liked the leotard or karate outfit, etc.  Most of the time these activties are wonderful and children thoroughly enjoy them.  But what happens if your young child is unhappy?  What if they resist going to class?

Some children will resist because an activity is new.  This may be the first time they are going to a class where a parent or caregiver leaves the room.  Perhaps this is the first time they have tried this particular activity or its “just one of those days.”  In these cases, I would recommend trying to stick with the activity.  Many times persistence through the initial hesitation will result in a child loving the activity!

It is helpful to remember that a “commitment” for a young child may be shorter than a full 6 or 12 week session.  (Whether or not you can afford to do that financially is another question.)  If your child is resistant, worries, or appears fearful, go and watch a class.  Tell your child that you are going to “try one more time.”  You might encourage them by saying that you are going to stay and watch, or even that you’ll come in with them,  While observing, note whether the class is developmentally appropriate.  Are the instructions clear?  Are they asking very young children to wait while many other children have a turn?  Are the children being engaged by the teacher?  How does the teacher react when a child is hesitant or not following instructions?  Sometimes children just aren’t sure what they’ve gotten themselves into.  If you can understand why your child isn’t happy, it may be time to stop the activity.

Ideally, when signing your child up for an activity, take a trial class first.  This way both of you will have the experience to make an informed choice.  Participating in group activities can teach children innumerable values.  But don’t forget to take into account that children need down time.  Unstructured time at the park or at home is just as important as being sure your child is taking classes.  A parent is the expert on their child.  Use your knowledge and try to make wise choices.  Adjustments can always be made.  You can do this!

Many parents today are concerned about disciplining their children.  Some don’t want to be “mean,” others don’t want to “damage” their children.  Some want to be “friends” with their kids, and others just aren’t sure how to do it.  The key in positive discipline and limit setting is to teach cooperation!  You can start teaching this to your child when he or she is a baby!  Praise positive behavior!  Give them specific and authentic compliments.  Set up opportunities for them to do something “right” and then recognize it.

Different children need different levels of discipline.  Consistency in setting limits is essential, as is giving your children ideas about what they “can do” instead of only what they “can’t do.” Our goal with discipline is to help children internalize pro-social behavior.  I often liken it to swaddling.  Before a baby is able to soothe him or herself, we swaddle them.  Once they are a bit older, we leave their arms out of the swaddle, so that they can work on controlling their hands and arms and start to learn to self soothe.  Eventually, we remove the swaddling all together as babies become better able to control their movements and more deliberately calm themselves.  Consistent limit setting helps young children feel safe.  In time, the concepts we have actively taught our children, will become a part of them instrinsically.

Bottom line…know what expectations are developmentally appropriate for your child, fight the battles worth winning, and be consistent in your reactions.  Acknowledge your childs emotions, but do not tolerate unacceptable behavior.  Teach them to manage their emotions.   Teach them what is and is not okay in your family.  Support them as they learn self-control.  Reinforce their positive behavior.  Children cannot do this on their own.  They need grownups.  Positive discipline and limit setting gives children a lifelong gift!  Start giving to your child today!

1. The most important way to help your child feel comfortable with the idea of beginning nursery school is to make sure you are comfortable with the idea of him or her beginning nursery school.  If you have questions or concerns call the school and speak with your child’s teacher, the director, or the school’s early childhood consultant.  Children are very perceptive, if you are feeling nervous, they will most certainly feel nervous as well.
2. Start a conversation with your child about beginning school.  Mention any familiar faces they may see.  Ask them what toys they think they might play with at school.  Remind them that grownups always come back!  (There are no beds or cribs at school!)  If your child’s anxiety level seems to rise during the conversation, end it.  You can always bring it up again.  Know your child.  Some children do better with less preparation, others with more.
3. On the first day of school have one parent drop your child off.  Having to say goodbye to two parents can be far more difficult.  Also, try to make arrangements for any siblings so that they are not present for separation.  Again, watching a parent leave with a sibling can make separation harder for some young children.
4. When bringing your child to school the first day make sure they are walking once they get inside the building.  They can absolutely hold your hand as you walk in.  Walking on their own begins the process of helping your child become more independent.
5. Remember that beginning school is a process.  There is no time table.  Your child will have days where he or she will run in to the room without issue and there will be days where saying goodbye is more difficult.  Everyone separates!  Make sure you are clear about the teachers’ plan for separation and continue to let them know if you have specific concerns.  When you reunite at the end of the day remind your child that you came back, just as you said you would!

Check out the Events Page for more information on my upcoming teleclass with Babybites.

We’ll be covering “Back to School: Start the Year Off Right!” Join us.

Recently,  I wrote an article for a website about preparing young children with special needs for mainstream kindergarten.  Needless to say, this had me thinking about the skills I would hope all children entering kindergarten would have.  Before entering kindergarten, most 4-5 year olds should have the ability to speak in sentences, understand the sequence of story, process a story told by another person, and the ability to relate a familiar story to someone else.

The activity below can be done with children younger than 4 as well.  Toddlers love having photographs to remind them of the important people in their lives and the activities they’ve done.  2s and 3s can answer specific questions about events, people and materials.  Many 3 year olds love telling stories and seeing their words written on paper.  Though most can not tell a story in a linear (events in the right order) fashion.  This is also a terrific activity for children with special needs.  Caregivers and therapists can concentrate on eye contact, answering and asking questions about specific events, and picking up on visual cues in photographs.  Give it a try!

What You’ll Need:

-Camera

-paper and a pen

-crayons

-tape or glue

The Plan:

In the morning, make a plan for the day.  Take pictures at each of the activities.  The next day, print the pictures and make a book.  Your child should tell the story while you write it.  Have them try to do this without looking at the photos.  If they are having difficulty, let them look at the photographs you’ve take.  For children who still find this challenging, try making the book at the end of the same day you’ve done the activities.  If they are able, have your child help write some of the words.  Children who like drawing can make pictures to go along with the story.  Let your child “read” the story to others.  Try it again on another day.

Sometimes the park can keep children busy for hours, and other days it’s just doesn’t cut it.  Be prepared!  These activities are sure to keep your children engaged and may even teach them a little about science along the way!

1-Use Water- Go to the dollar store and keep spray bottles, paint rollers and paint brushes in the house.  Bring them, along with buckets, to the park, sidewalk, or backyard this summer and watch the kids go wild.  Certainly, getting wet in hot summer heat is always a good thing, but try wondering aloud as to where the water goes when the wet brush marks disappear…..evaporation!  Using spray bottles is a great activity for working on hand strength and there are no limitations to where children can paint with water, as it simply dries!

2-Make ice-On that same trip to the dollar store, buy a few ice trays.  Make ice and let the children play with it.  You can add it to a baby pool or bathtub.  Freeze it with a q-tip or popsicle stick inside and continue with the “painting” idea.  Add a little paint to the water before it freezes and it can be used to paint on large sheets of paper outside.  Have the children help you make the ice and talk about freezing and melting.  Don’t forget, freezing fruit juice in ice trays with popsicle sticks for handles is a great activity and a delicious, healthy snack!

3-Planting-Whether you live in the city or the suburbs, planting is a great activity.  Flowers or seeds, herbs or vegetables, the possibilities are endless.  Go to a local hardware store for some dirt, pots (you can also use plastic cups!), and whatever item you choose to plant.  Bring the children with you to make the choices!  Even young children can help you count out single dollars!  Take the items home and talk about what plants need to grow.  To extend the activity, have your children decorate the pots.  Plant your items and keep track of watering and growth.  This is a great way to teach responsibility!

4-Picnics-Children love to take their meals outside.  Try having picnics at different times of the day.  Have children help prepare a breakfast meal the night before.  Think about healthy choices and pack your meal.  Go outside early in the morning, spread out a blanket and enjoy your breakfast.  For families where children are up early and parents leave for work, this is a great way to squeeze in some quality time together.  Point out the position of the sun.  Think aloud about the temperature and what the air “feels” like.  Have your next picnic at lunch or dinner time.  Notice the differences.  If you eat under a tree, talk to your children about the shadows that are created.

5-Use Nature-There is a million and one ways to use the environment around us.  Two of my favorites are a nature scavenger hunt and a nature collage.  For the scavenger hunt, make a list of the items each child needs to find.  Talk about which items they can take and which items are still growing.  For young children, draw pictures next to the words.  List items like green leaves, brown leaves, stones, dandelions, seashells, etc.  You can even add a “freebie,” so the children can include an extra item they think is special.  Modify the game by giving the children the number of items they need to find and add math skills to the activity.  Give each child a bucket or bag, their list, and a marker or crayon to cross the items off.  Young children will need some help.  Come back together and let the children talk about what they have found.  Point out some details of each of their items.  Afterwards, pull out glue and paper to make a collage.  I prefer using cardboard and tacky glue for nature collages that include heavier items.  Many local dry cleaners will happily give you a few shirt boards.  You can also use shoe box tops, cut cereal boxes, and poster board.

Have other science ideas to add to the list?  Please post a comment.  The most important part is to have fun with your children.  Enjoy!

Check out the Events page for more information on my upcoming workshop with Big City Moms.

We’ll be covering “Everything You Need To Know About Potty Training!” Join us.

In the season of beaches, parks, picnics and outdoor activities, having a safe spot for your children to play is essential.  The Sun Smarties Play Anywhere Play Tent is one of my favorites.  First and foremost, the tent has UPF 30+ which is so important when playing outside.  The tent is incredibly easy to open and close and it comes with it’s own carrying case.  Let’s be honest, normally when items brag about their own carrying case, you’d generally have to be proficient in origami to get it back in, but this one slides back in without issue.

The Sun Smarties tent also features a floor, as well as a “front patio” floor, which is perfect for babies who are exploring sand or grass for the first time, or other children who don’t love the feel of sand or grass.  While the company does not mention that an adult can fit in the tent, I personally crawled inside to play (and yes, then nap) with my nephew.  This isn’t a family-sized tent, which Sun Smarties offers as well, but for a few children or one adult and a child, it’s works beautifully.  The Sun Smarties Play Anywhere Play Tent has venting on all sides, which you have the option of opening or closing.  Close the vents when the wind picks up at the beach, or leave it open for a gentle breeze while your child is napping!

The Sun Smarties Play Anywhere Play Tent is also great for leaving open in a bedroom or playroom, even in an apartment.  Set it up and watch your children’s creativity flow.  The zippered closures make it an ideal place for older children to set up materials that can be closed off and kept safe from younger children.  With this tent, the possibilities are endless.  Give it a try and let me know what you think!

(Note: The pool on the left is a developmentally-appropriate first pool for infants and young babies.  It is available at Buy Buy Baby.   Parents should always be in the water or just outside of the pool (within arms reach), when infants and toddler are exploring the water.)